We’ve all heard the expression “a face only a mother could love,” but sometimes, even a mother’s love doesn’t come easily. Robert Hoge was born with a tennis-ball-sized tumor on his face, and legs so badly deformed that doctors had to amputate them right away. His mother was absolutely devastated and didn’t know if she could raise such an child.
It would be easy to demonize the new mom based on her reaction, but there’s much more to this story. The circumstances around Robert’s birth are just the beginning…
44 years ago in Australia, Robert Hoge was born with a massive tennis-ball-sized tumor between his eyes and badly deformed legs that had to be amputated. His mother, who already had four healthy children, was devastated and refused to take such an “ugly” baby home with her.
Robert Hoge
She and her family had a meeting, and Robert’s siblings decided they wanted him to be part of the family despite their mother’s deep concerns about raising a child with special needs. Even though she feared he would be bullied and ostracized for his appearance, she agreed to bring him home.
Robert Hoge
Robert had surgery to remove the tumor and received prosthetic legs, and soon a family dynamic was established. Robert’s mother came to love him just as much as any of her other children, and although she still struggled from time to time over his condition, Robert doesn’t blame her at all.
Robert Hoge
He says that his mother was always very open with him about her initial hesitation to raise him and her difficulties along the way. The doctors had encouraged her to keep a diary through Robert’s early medical problems, which she kept doing throughout her life. She would occasionally read to Robert from it.
Robert Hoge
There were parts that upset him and parts that he didn’t understand as a kid, but as he got older it all began to make sense. He realized his mother’s experience was “like a movie that has some sad parts in the middle but has a happy ending.” Robert has no feelings of resentment or anger toward her, and says his mom was “amazing, loving and caring.”
Robert Hoge
These days, Robert is married and has two daughters. He and his family live in a suburb of Brisbane, where he works as a successful journalist. He says his mother continues to be an inspiration to him in his own struggles navigating fatherhood.
Robert Hoge
In addition to his journalism work, Robert has been a public servant and is a successful author and motivational speaker. In his writing and talks he tries to reflect on his struggles and his successes with humor and honesty, and he hopes to inspire others to do the same.
Robert Hoge
In 2013, Robert recounted his experiences in a memoir called Ugly, which was an international success and has inspired people all around the world. His early life may have been difficult, but it sure seems like Robert has managed to make the best of it!
Robert Hoge